Psalms 73

A 24 hour tale…

June 30th, 2014
It is every parents dream to raise children they can be proud of. Proper men and women, good people, hard-workers of strong character and beliefs who are not afraid to stand up for what they believe in… Well, at lease that’s my dream.

I can’t take full credit for my children. It really does take a village and while for many people, the village sucks, mine is very awesome. I truly have an incredibly support system, husband, mom, sister, brother in law, aunts and friends. Everyone pours a little bit of their awesomeness into these kids and it shows in them every single day.

We teach the kids that you do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do. You help where you can, and you don’t do it for praise or recognition. God is watching and that truly is all you need. However, I am allowed to be a proud mom, aren’t I?

Yesterday, June 29th 2014, as I was running errands with the kids, we stumbled upon a mother of two begging for money. I had to turn her away, because my son had just made me donate all my change for the homeless pets at PetSmart not 20 minutes earlier.
I know, people have a problem with giving money away to homeless and beggars, I have heard all your reasons for this, but God knows I’m giving them the money to help, what they choose to do with it, is up to them, but I digress.

Kaleb, who turned 10 in February, told me as we walked away that he had a $5 bill he wanted to give to them. I asked him repeatedly if he was sure he wanted to give the money away, he is taking a trip with my mom in just a few short weeks and has been saving some money for it and multiple times he said that, yes, he really did want her to have it and so we turned around and called out to her and he opened up his wallet and gave her the money. She wouldn’t take it at first. The look of shock was clear on her face and she looked at me for confirmation, I said “it’s OK. He wants you to have it.” And she took it, with tears in her eyes. I really wished I could have done more, and I’m hindsight, I guess I really could have but at the moment I was wrapped up in the errands and totally forgot that Walmart was full of opportunities to help.

Today, just less than 24 hrs after Kaleb’s act of love upon a stranger, I am sitting at Illusions Beauty Salon in Grand Prairie, anxiously awaiting Anika’s turn…

About 3 months ago, my 6 yr old daughter (who turns 7 in November) approached us with the wish to donate her long hair to the Children with Hair Loss. I did the research and while they do welcome all hair donations, the hair they use for the pieces for the children has to be at lease 10″ from tip to tip. I explained this to her and she was willing to wait because she wanted her hair to go a child who needed it more than she did, those were her exact words.

So here we are, finally taking the plunge. Her hair grew roughly 6″ in 3 months… And now it’s {mostly} gone.

As her mom, it was one of the most mixed feeling moments of my life with her thus far. Proud of her and yet really wishing she would choose to keep it and yet knowing how selfish and petty I was being. It is just hair after all, it will grow and this provides her with a much needed change.

As a parent, it is very difficult to let go, to sit back and allow your child to make his or her own decision {age appropriate decisions} and trust that they have been listening to all that you have been teaching them. In this particular instance, both of my children’s heart were in the right place and I was right in allowing them to make their decisions all on their own.

We are very proud of them both!
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Frozen.

June 17th, 2014
I grew up on Disney movies. I think, most of us did.
Some of my favorite Disney movies as a child were Aladdin, The Lion King, and The Little Mermaid is my absolutely favorite Disney princess, even though the Princess’ were never really my thing.

Recently, I came home to be sold on the many reason’s why I needed to watch Frozen. Now mind you, I was already curious of the movie because in the weeks following its release I had stumbled upon this little jewel right here. I think a friend of mine had shared it on Facebook or something and of course at the moment I hadn’t seen it yet and so I couldn’t comment for it or against it.

I am a very strict mom that pays very close attention to everything my children [who are 10 & 6] are exposed to, I monitor and have final say in everything they read, play and watch. You may not agree with how I parent these kids, and that is OK. We can argue that point at a later time.

I have since watched Frozen a handful of times, always reaching the same conclusion about the movie and the aforementioned post, which is this:

It saddens me. It absolutely breaks my heart that the message that these two men took from the movie Frozen, was that it promotes homosexuality. I consider myself a very open minded person, and I would love to hear these two explain HOW they got to the conclusion that the movie promotes homosexuality in our children, but since that wont happen, I must reach some conclusions of my own.

It cannot be because of the fact that Anna braved the winter to find Elsa.

I cannot be because Anna did all she could to bring Elsa home.

It cannot be because the act of true love that saved Anna’s life was sacrificing herself for Elsa.

I know for a fact that none of these can possibly be the reasons for the point of view they reached because Elsa and Anna are sister who lost their parents at a young age and only have each other and in truth, isn’t family the most important thing?

I’m the oldest of 2 girls in my house, my mom is the oldest of 3. If there was one thing I grew up knowing is that you do anything for family, short of killing someone for no reason, that is.

Yes, I am aware that this is just a movie and that this is just the ignorant opinion of two people who represent “Christianity” and maybe that is why it bothers me so much, because lately there is so much bad representation of the Christian community in the media. And maybe I am just over-reacting to the ignorance. Or maybe their ignorance bothers me BECAUSE I would jump in front of a bullet for my sister, and my sister would do so as well for me. And I really believe that to be the case with most of us when it comes to our family, whether siblings or children or parents… Does this make us homosexual? Does putting my life on the line for someone I love make me gay? And if so, then am I mistaken in my interpretation of what 90% of the Bible teaches? Because here I thought the main concept of the Bible was to teach you to love. To love friends and family and neighbors and strangers, prostitutes, homosexuals, tax collectors and widows and just about every type or sinner there is. . .

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” -John 15:13
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To you, Old Friend.

May 19th, 2014
For some months now I have been meaning to sit down and write this for you to [maybe] some day find.

I do not feel as though I owe you an explanation, but here I am taking up my rare free time to give that which you have not earned. Rest assured that it is more for me, than it is for you.

Over the course of the last 13 yrs you have been a constant ghost in my life. A black cloud which comes and goes and which never leaves sunshine behind.

It has been 13 yrs of walking on the proverbial hamster wheel, watching the same scenery go by, never allowing anything to truly move forward. Especially not ourselves, not with those endless walks down memory lane. But the view has been… distorted. We stopped seeing things as though they really were many years ago and seem to have chosen to write a children’s bedtime fantasy in its place.
I allowed this distorted vision of the past to twist my reality of the present and the future, and along with that little mistake came the pedestal in which I put you on for no other reason than that I convinced myself that you were the greatest friend to ever walk the earth. Not quite so true thought, is it?

So pathetically predictable have we been, that I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that, you will be back, you always are. Only this time you wont find me, and for this reason alone is that I am leaving behind this explanation. or lack there of.

Our friendship, and I use the term loosely, has been an intense roller-coaster ride of emotions that fluctuate so frequently that I don’t think we have ever, once, been on the same page. And while your choices were never quite fair to me, I always respected them though I did not always understand them.

Why did it always have to be all or nothing?

In the past though, as you walked away from me for the millionth time, I was always left feeling hurt, slighted and rejected, something I don’t think you ever really thought about. I always took comfort in the fact that you would undoubtedly return, as you always did, and this time things would be different, and though they never were, I always believed things would one day change once and for all.

So why are we here?

Because people change.

I changed.

And though you left once again, like a thief in the night with the promise of tomorrow, this time I found myself realizing something powerful. I felt relieved that you were gone. Not at first, mind you. At first I was as angry as I have always been and in a mess of tears because I allow you to do this time and time again, and that was when I started to realized that my anger was not at you, but at me.

I prayed about it and I realized that the only way to change things once and for all, was for me to do so.

I wish I could say its been a pleasure, but you & I both know that would be a lie.

“Letting go isn’t a one time thing. It’s something you do every day, over and over again.” -Dawson’s Creek
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A 24 hour tale…

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Frozen.

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To you, Old Friend.

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