I know many of you have questions, and I’d like to provide some answers but the full story is still not mine to share.
Also, it’s easier to share here than to keep typing answers over and over again.
Before I jump down that rabbit hole, I want to thank every kind & generous person who has been a supportive lifeline during these difficult months.
It matters not if you offered us a listening ear, a plate of food, a place to stay even for a night, or donated money to the cause:
We are eternally grateful for you & would not have made it this far without your judgement/condemnation free assistance & support.
I know you all know who you are & I hope you know we pray for you often, because no matter how big or small your part in our walk was, we are thankful for it all.
Of course, the real hero of the story is my Lord Jesus Christ who keeps me even when I am ready to give up, and trust & believe, I have wanted to give up countless times but He is faithful, and so I carry on by His strength, somehow.
I know that when people hear ‘homelessness’ they assume drugs or laziness, and there was a time in my life when I too thought that way because I grew up with a drug addict homeless man for a father.
I really did believe myself to be an expert of sorts in homelessness, but I was very wrong, and I hate to be the one to tell you that many of you are very wrong as well.
There are so many homeless families, with two working parents, who simply cannot find a place to live they can afford.
There so many homeless elderly people who can’t afford it either.
I have heard so many stories, from people who simply could not afford to rent a place, to people who were scammed out of thousands renting a place. There are people whose medical needs put them in a position to not be able to afford a place to call home.
There are so many things happening in our world that most of you do not know because it does not affect you, just like we did not know, when it did not affect us.
In the nearly 2 yrs of motel living, Michael has had steady work for most of that time, multiple jobs even, until a few months back.
I, on the other hand, have dedicated myself to my ministry, and to the sheep that God entrusted upon me, to ‘feed them’ as He asked. {John 21}
It may not seem like much to some but frankly, my obedience to God’s calling has made all the difference in this journey, as most of the money we have received outside of Michael’s work/business has come through the generous donations of the beautiful souls that God has connected me with. Between Michael’s jobs and my ministry, we have been surviving.
Through it all, we met countless strangers who became more family than our families, people who needed us as much as we needed them in that particular moment in time, though in very different ways.
People through whom I saw God’s hand in my life and theirs, and honestly, each person was such a learning opportunity for us to grow in Christ’s love for others.
For those of you who do not know [and those who seem to choose to forget] Michael & I have never been materialistic people.
We always lived below our means, we bought a cheap mobile home we should never have been able to lose. We have never been interested in name brand items, not even at discounted prices, expensive lifestyles or hobbies.
Michael’s biggest expense in life has always been tools because, duh!
Plus the occasional video games, which he has not played in years now, and which he very rarely bought at full price anyway.
Mine were books, which I always got on sale or from 2nd hand stores.
Yes, I complained a lot about money, because honestly, I liked seeing it in my bank account, not going out of it. I said I was broke a lot, and so I spoke it into existence. Now looking back I realize I was really living in abundance and had no clue what “broke” actually was.
When the cost of living tripled nearly overnight a few years back, things started to become difficult for us.
Yes, Michael had trouble finding work then, as during covid the size of apartment complex teams were cut short everywhere and things never went back to how they used to be, but he always took on whatever came. He worked for temp agencies for a long time, took on every project that came his way, no matter what it was, and even worked at a 7-Eleven for over a year.
The truth is that there are many many people who owe us so much money, it is not even funny. I was very angry for a long time but I eventually had to realize & accept that my anger was not hurting them, just me.
I poured my heart & soul into people who never saw me as anything but someone to take from. My love for them was not reciprocated and that is ok.
Love has to be freely given, no strings attached. Whatever I did for them, whatever I gave, I did because deep down I knew it was the right thing to do and what they chose to do, or not do, is between them and God.
Did I think that some of those people we had helped over the many years when we were doing well would want to help us in our time of need?
Yes. I did. That was stupid of me.
I was very disappointed to see them all for what they really were.
For a while I was hurt and angry that none of them cared to help us at all. I don’t just mean money, any help would have been greatly appreciated but now I am forever grateful for every person who abandoned us during our time of need because it allowed me to see how God can and will show up.
He can use anyone, send anything, and connect His people together across the states and even oceans, and that was something I did not know 4 yrs ago. Still, seeing His hand at work does not automatically make things easier.
After we lost the house, where we lived for 2 yrs more than we should have been able to thanks to our savings and the miracles God made happen, we spent 7 weeks in and out of motels and even in the car.
At that time, we had 2 cars so it was not so terrible. We had everything we needed, and plenty of space for us all. It was also the dead of Texas winter [we left the house for the very last time on 12.21.23, my 41st birthday] so a lot of things were not as bad as they could have been.
After those 7 weeks, Michael received a work offer for an apartment complex and he took it. To this day I wonder if that was the right thing to do, but at the time we did not have any other choice. In less than 24 hrs we moved a little over an hour away.
We spent a year in the townhome they “provided” for us, and let me be completely honest with you, that was not an easy season by any stretch of the imagination, but I will not get into the specifics of that here. If you are curious all I can say is Google ‘Kittle Property Group’ & read some reviews.
When we moved out, we checked into an Extended Stay America, the only place in the area that had rooms available due to some events in town, to await a call from one of the rental applications we had submitted, as at that time, I had both Kaleb & Anika living with us, not just Ezekiel.
Obviously, I wanted to keep my family together, and hoped to hear from any place that would allow that. We believed that we would be at ESA a week at most. Never did we think no one would ever call. Just like never did we think we could fill out hundreds if not thousands of job applications without hearing back from 90% of them.
Some led to interviews that did lead to job offers that simply fell through, which I cannot understand nor explain.
As weeks went on and we were still in the hotel, I realize that we would need a lot more money than we had to get into a rental because the cost of everything was so much higher. We also had the loss of the house, the repossessed car and the unpaid credit cards hindering our already limited options.
At that point I created a fundraiser to purchase a cheap, used RV to live in, because it made more sense to spend $6K on a used RV than to get into a rental. The fundraiser brought it some money, but not enough to move out and eventually it brought nothing but scammers offering assistance in hopes of taking advantage of our circumstances, so I gave up. I took the money out and closed the fundraiser.
Enter 2026.
Michael works for a company I will not name, and the year starts with nothing but troubles, yet through it all GOD was faithful, you can read some of my past entries to learn more about some of those testimonies and lessons.
The January winter storm cost him nearly a week of work, yet God sent the payment for the room in full. All $750 that we paid each and every week of the 15 months we were residents of ESA.
During all of that time, I applied for assistance but was rejected twice, called every place in the area that should have been able to help but they were short on resources, and just about every church as well.
The most we could find at that time, was a program that would help us move anywhere in the country via gas cards. Sadly, until recently, we had nowhere else in the country to go to.
Most churches turned us away for not being members or referred us out to other programs, and those were the ones who answered their phone or returned a phone call.
I will say that having met so many people in our same situation, I understood resources were very hard to come by everywhere. There are soooo many people in need in the DFW area. Too many.
However, I also understand why “The Church” gets such a bad reputation, but I won’t expand on that now, all I will say is that because I know Jesus Christ, personally, no failure on any churches’ part can hindered my walk. Praise The Lord!
Sometime in February Michael’s job was terminated due to his unwillingness to work 45 hours a week in exchange for 30 hours pay. You may judge him for it, but I understand. No company should be able to demand 15 hours of free labor a week.
By the end of March his car registration expired & we were promptly pulled over on April 1st. That cost us 2 weeks of work, because we had trouble locating a place that could do the inspection due to scammers, and then trouble passing inspection since his car is older and my truck was long gone by this point. Having only his car, we could not risk being pulled over again because they would’ve impounded the car and we could not afford that either, as his car is all we have. No sooner did we get his car legal and back on the road, he was out doordashing one night to make extra money and a strut breaks off.
God provided all 4 struts for the car within a day which, to this day blows my mind everytime I think about it, as well as payment for the room, again.
But at this point all of the work he is doing and money he is making is simply not enough and so within a few days we had no choice but to leave ESA as we were unable to afford it any longer.
We placed all of our belongings into our storage unit we had as we did not have space in the car for much, and assumed we would be around the area to access things as needed. That too did not work out according to plan.
After a couple of nights in the car, we received a kind invitation from a dear friend and once again, left the area we were at to visit this friend for a day, with the idea that we would go back to Richardson afterwards.
Her family was kind enough to put us in a nearby motel for a night or two after the visit & the motel manager promptly offered Michael some work in exchange for pay and a free room, so we stayed there for a couple of months. After the project was done, he [the hindu manager] also did not pay Michael what was agreed upon and charged us for the room on top of that, and so we left there too, following yet another job lead another hour away, that also did not pan out even after he was given a contract and did some work that they too have yet to pay him for. This was back in July. Somewhere in all of that, we were involved in an accident while doordashing, that left us stranded for another week.
After about a week of going from motel to motel or sleeping in the car, as the finances allowed, we decided to head back to the last area we were at because it was more familiar and a lot cooler [it was July in Texas after all] than where we were at, so back we go to the very same motel were he was not paid because it was all we could afford.
While the man did not hide the fact that he did not want us there, he was content to take our money and we were able to stay, on and off, for some weeks, occupying the abandoned gas station just down the road on those off days where we had no money and nowhere else to go. It had a large field in the back that allowed the child & dogs plenty of space to roam free.
In the motel, we had met a couple back in May who was so happy to see us back, they took it upon themselves to care for us for days, providing both food and shelter without us ever asking for anything, or them asking for anything in return.
They gave me a much needed & humbling lesson on how to care for those in need with love. I will never forget all they did for us, and I thank Jesus Christ every day for that family.
We also met various individuals who offered Michael work in construction, which he happily agreed to, yet, week after week, no start date ever came or was postponed and so we left, not just the motel but the whole state this time, once again, following a work lead.
Now we are not waiting for that job to come to fruition, we are looking around at anything and everything we can find here because we are not stupid.
We did not make it to our 40’s and forget how to work. Neither one of us became lazy overnight, no one is refusing to work here.
What I am refusing to do is send my child away to “strangers” simply because we are related by blood.
I am not the same woman I once was, even just two years ago, just as Michael is not the same man he used to be.
We made parenting mistakes with Kaleb & Anika that we can never take back, but what we can do is not repeat those same mistakes with Ezekiel.
Parenting is one of those things that, unfortunately, we learn as we go, especially when you did not have proper parenting yourself. You don’t know what you don’t know. That is not an excuse, it is a fact.
Something I have learned in the last 4 yrs is that when you entrust your child to an unknown person [be it a teacher, a church leader or a family member] you are putting yourself in a position to be undermined by an outsider who you know nothing about.
It’s not that we do not appreciate the offers, or that we want the help we want, it’s that we have learned that we do not have to accept every offer.
We have to make hard decisions that are founded on both obedience to Christ & what is best for our child, whom has had a very hard life having been homeless since he was 3. I won’t even get into all that took place the year before we left the house.
Yes, some people are family because we [Michael or I] are blood relations but, we don’t talk, we don’t interact, we are not close at all. I don’t know anything about their parenting, so why would I send my child away to live with them?
Being related to someone by blood does not make them known. And to be quite honest, my last experiences entrusting a child to family left a bad taste in my mouth not once, but twice.
I would have to be the dumbest woman alive to do it a 3rd time with a child who is much younger than his sibling was at that time.
We fully understand that people offer the help they are able to give, but I need them to understand that we are under no obligation to accept every offer. The only constant thing that Ezekiel has had in his life, is us.
Just the two of us.
We cannot take that away from him because someone is upset we won’t send them our child. He has to come first.
“Well, don’t you love him?!”
Of course we do, which is why we care more about putting his needs and his long term welfare above our own and anyone else’s opinions or feelings.
This has really been a very long, very difficult road. We have done all we know to do and more to help us out of our situation and there is not a single day in which I don’t wonder how anyone could ever assume that two people who have always worked hard and managed their money properly could ever just one day wake up and say “I think I rather beg strangers for money or live out of the car.” That is insane. We are not insane.
What’s more, I feel so sorry for some of you who have not only been terribly judgemental but also woefully arrogant. May God have mercy on you all.
“That could never be me….”
Yeah, love. I never thought it would be us either. I purposely chose to build a life that we should have never been able to not pay, but the truth is that life is affected by outside forces that we do not control on a daily basis, and there is A LOT we cannot control, whether you believe me or not.
As for the dogs:
We left the house with 4, took in another from my mom about a year later while at the townhome, all of whom have been with us since they were puppies and are now 7-12 years old.
I have tried to find them homes, but people have not been interested in adopting and I understand that. Rescues have been at over capacity and/or short on funds.
What I cannot do in good conscience, is dump them in a shelter to become the city’s problem and then be put down for lack of space. That is not right or fair to them.
They are good dogs, they are not destructive or problematic, otherwise we would not have been able to stay in any motel/hotel for such extended periods of time with them. They do not deserve death because I took on responsibilities that I cannot keep up with so many years after the fact.
There is so much I miss, little things that make a place feel like a home, familiar, comfortable.
There is so much I would change if I could go back and do things over, but I can’t. As we speak we are about to lose the storage unit in a matter of days & everything within it. We have so very little here with us, because we have a small car, but I know that I cannot attach myself to belongings, no matter how much it may hurt to lose it all. Again.
And so that is the short version of our homeless adventure.
On a more personal note:
I have always been the ‘difficult person’ my whole entire 43 yrs, so I really couldn’t care less about what some have to say about me specifically, talk to your heart’s content, I have been hearing you talk for years, it did not bother me then, it bothers me less now, but Michael…
Michael.
He is the best person I have ever known, even with all of his flaws [he is human] & deserves more respect than he has received from both his family and mine, and when it comes to my husband, I do not play. Do not cross that man or you will be met by his pitbull of a wife. Just ask the kid who crashed into his car the first time.
My patient, God fearing husband has a heart of GOLD.
He genuinely loves people, even those who have never loved him or even treated him with any kindness.
For 20 yrs now, he has been the only father Kaleb knew. Loving him like his own in such a way that most people that are not told, do not know that Kaleb is not biologically his.
You don’t have to take my word for it, go ask Kaleb for yourself [if you know him] who is the one person in the world he knows he can call anytime, day or night, who will always come running to help him, without judgement. I know some people will think he will say its them, but I know the truth.
There are some who will help others, but they will make you hear all about it until your dying day. They do the slightest favor for you and they want a whole parade for all eternity, and a ‘thank you very very much’ every 15-20 seconds. They will forget all you ever did for them, but will never let you forget the one time they did something for you.
There are some, whom shall remain nameless, who disrespected and abused his kind nature for years, who have taken from him and never given back. There was 1 person who nearly got him arrested for their behavior, and so much more, and suddenly, it’s like they forgot, but then that is the curse of humanity: Short memories.
We forget what others do for us, just like we forget what God has done for us.
Right now, I am incredibly thankful for the sweet soul who offered us a spare room but for a variety of reason I will not get into, this is not a long term solution. We need steady, reliable income. Urgently.
We need a place to call home so that my child can start to live a normal life.
I cannot speak for Michael, and I don’t like to, but there are things I have been missing for a while now. Silly things that make a place feel like home, things I took for granted for my whole entire life, like blankets and books.
Right now, we are far away from the place we called home for 16 yrs, with the absolute bare minimum and only 1 person we know & love [4 people if you count the children. 6 if you include their dogs.]
I have prayed, begged, borrowed and stopped just short of stealing because I know that I cannot survive in jail much less prison. I do not like to lie, I do not like to abuse others or take advantage of their kind generosity.
I just need God to open a door to settle down somewhere, anywhere, because my body, mind and soul are exhausted. Drained beyond what I ever would have imagined I ever could have withstand.
I have never in my life been the kind of person who is envious of what others have, and I am not now. On the contrary, I praise God every day that it is us going through this and not someone else who lacks our faith & trust in The Lord.
But I would advise you all to take a good look at your life, and at what is happening in this world. There is much we take for granted that we won’t always have accessible, and unlike us, you won’t know how to survive it because life in the great USA has made us all soft and lacking the real like skills that allow us to survive in hardship.
This walk is not for the faint of heart, even with Jesus Christ at our side.
I just desperately want to bring this particular season to a close, once and for all. To have a place to call home, toys for the child to play with, a yard for him and the dogs to run & play. The little things I once assumed I would forever have, like so many of you do right now, and then found myself with none of it at all. But God.
GOD.
Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heaven!
Praise him for his mighty works; praise his unequaled greatness!
Praise him with a blast of the ram’s horn; praise him with the lyre and harp!
Praise him with the tambourine and dancing; praise him with strings and flutes!
Praise him with a clash of cymbals; praise him with loud clanging cymbals.
Let everything that breathes sing praises to the Lord! Praise the Lord!
(Psalms 150:1-6 NLT)
