The last 24 hrs have been exciting for reasons only You understand, Jesus. And only You get the glory, the credit, the praise & everything else.
As I continue forward with our plans in place for all You are doing in me, with me & though me, I look forward to seeing what you will do next.
I see the pieces & they make sense, as they tie gifts together, but only You know the full picture.
I ‘m excited by the possibilities of where You will lead us.
As I get ready for bed, I lay my tomorrow in Your hands. I lay the entirety of my life, my children, my future [and at this moment most importantly, the future of P73BCM] to be led, composed, designed & established by You.
In following with Your promise to equip me, I trust Your Holy spirit to guide & inspire me, so that I may operate fully in obedience to You, without strings attached that compromise the purity of You & dilute The Gospel of Jesus Christ.
This is for You, Jesus Christ.
For all of the years I wasted looking for You in all the wrong places while simultaneously running from You.
It is long overdue & finally, with all the focus and attention it should always have had, and requires. Forgive me, Lord. I now know that You know all I will need, when I will need it & how You will provide it so long as I keep my eyes on You and stay the course.
You also know what lays heavy on my heart:
Family
Friends
Hopes
Dreams
Asperations
Not mine, but Yours, for us all.
I want to see Your stubborn children [myself included] walking fully with You in that child-like way, with that child-like trust, that You have been wanting from us since The Garden.
I never dreamed of this life, yet I now see how You have been preparing me for this, my whole entire life, and watching You bring the pieces together has really been one of the most humbling experiences of my life.
I want so desperately to share so much of what You have taught me in this season. Just two weeks away from a year of calling this place home and these people neighbors, You have taught me a lifetime worth of kingdom lessons, and it all comes full circle, back to You.
From Genesis to Revelations. From the day I was born until the day I die. My reason for being is You.
You are The Architect of life.
The more I discover about You and Your purpose for my life, the more I find myself very much at home in my new reality, it’s just uncomfortable for the flesh to not do what it has always done, but for true Peace, I can be very uncomfortable.
15 months ago, none of this looked possible, and I can admit it’s taken that long to get here because I spent the first 10 months trying to redirect, to control, streer, micromanage and create a circumstance that met my expectations of life by a worldy standard.
Thank You for Jeremiah 12, for without it, I may still be in my feelings and entitlement. I find I am very content here. I truly love having less of absolutely everything, from stress to material possessions. I would never have reached this place without You.
Thank You for Your mercy. Thank You for Your grace, your patience.
I would be so lost without You.
Only You could have taken our broken pieces and created a beautiful mosaic of perspective and wisdom. An entirely new creation in all of Your glory.
The thing is, in many ways, I could always see it. I did not understand it, no, but deep in my soul I knew You had a purpose for all of the life experiences that shaped who Michael and I were, both as individuals and as a couple. Just as I now know that You have a purpose for all of the life experiences that are shaping, and hurting, those I love and even those I do not know.
I want to see others walking in this Freedom that You offer.
We are Your creation, Jesus and we matter to You, but who needs to change is us, and I for one I am incredibly thankful for all You have broken us from, all You have taught, all You have healed and how You are using the pieces of the broken now to build a beautiful [in the kingdom not the world] tomorrow.
It is all about You.
It is all about Your Kingdom.
Your glory.
Your righteousness.
There are many ways in which we must die, to become what You intended. Despite the hardships, the losses, the heart shattering disappointments that have taken place over 2 decades, something in me recognizes that the hard work is actually about to begin. This is not a traditional/transactional adventure. This is going to take more reliance on You than we have had before, more blind trust, which should not be an issue because we know Your nature, we know Your goodness and faithfulness and so we embark forward trusting just You.
Thank You.
““If racing against mere men makes you tired, how will you race against horses? If you stumble and fall on open ground, what will you do in the thickets near the Jordan?”
Jeremiah 12:5 NLT