Restoration

I could not have foreseen where the road would lead, and if you had told me, I would not have believed it.
It came when I least expected it, like a roller coaster on steroids. There have been so many ups and downs. So many moments of laughter and tears, and I am forever grateful for them all, I would not be here without them. Without him.

The last 5 years of our lives have been intense, to say the least. I could not put into words all we have been through, and how we have come out stronger on the other side. The hardships opened my eyes to who he was, underneath all of the imperfections and insecurities, they opened my eyes to who I was, too. To what I had become.

I have seen God bring my marriage back from a pile of dry bones to a living, breathing relationship, better than it has ever been before.
I have seen Him break us, mold us, and make us stronger, both as individuals and as a couple.
Our seeking a relationship with God separately, has brought us closer together.
I have watched Michael grow into a strong man of faith in Christ, who leads his family where God leads him, and he leads us with unshakeable faith, and a grace I cannot fathom, carrying an unbearable weight with a strength that can only be found in our Creator.

It took us the better part of 12 years to understand that we were not each other’s enemies, and to remember that God had a plan for us, a purpose. To see that we had allowed the enemy to distract us from what we knew from the start.
It took Michael stepping out in faith, seeking God for who He really is, to start this avalanche of spiritual warfare, as well as spiritual healing and growth, in this family.
Like falling dominoes, we all are falling in love with God.

My only regret is that it took us so long to get on the same page with Christ, to understand what was being offered to us, yes, but also, what was being asked of us.
There is nothing God can’t use for His purpose and glory. It’s not so much about the years we ‘wasted’ as it is about the fact that we are here, finally. Allowing God’s spirit to lead us forward in life. Trusting that His plan for us is greater than we could ever imagine, knowing that if this is as good as it ever gets, it is already better than it ever was, and that alone is more than I could have ever dream of.

God is faithful to those who seek Him earnestly, and I have seen Michael do that. His blessings are beyond what we deserve but not why we worship Him. We worship for who He is, and because of who He is, He showers us with His blessings and His love.

The last 5 yrs have been rough. There has been loss, heartbreak, and betrayal. There have been tears, pain and sorrow. We said things we can’t take back and did things, I can only hope we have learned from, because regret will not change any of it now, but it all taught me to see the beauty that hides in the pain. I’ve learned to be thankful for what I have, instead of dwelling in the past and what was not to be. I put aside my own expectations of who we were and embraced God’s identity for us.
I am thankful for the incredible man God blessed me with. I am thankful for my children and I am excited to see where God takes us next.

Thank you, Jesus, for your restoration. Only you can bring the dead to life. Thank you.

‘“Therefore, give the people of Israel
this message from the Sovereign Lord :
I am bringing you back,
but not because you deserve it.
I am doing it to protect my holy name,
on which you brought shame while
you were scattered among the nations.
I will show how holy my great name is—
the name
on which you brought shame among the nations.
And when I reveal my holiness through you
before their very eyes, says the Sovereign Lord ,
then the nations will know that I am the Lord .
For I will gather you up from all the nations and
bring you home again to your land. “Then I will
sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean.
Your filth will be washed away, and you will
no longer worship idols.
And I will give you a new heart, and I will put
a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony,
stubborn heart and give you a tender,
responsive heart. And I will put my Spirit in you
so that you will follow my decrees and
be careful to obey my regulations. ‘
Ezekiel 36:22-27 NLT