It is so hard to grasp the fact that it has been 6 months.
I remember, clearly, the certainty, of this being a short stop along the way. A week, two at the very most.
Now here I am staring at the calendar wondering where the time went.
I truly do not understand.
I can honestly say that it’s been a longest and most difficult time, devoid of people, and at times lonely yet not really. Jesus has never once left my side.
He is faithful.
As for me, I am ready to walk out of this place for the very last time. I’ve been ready since I arrived. I did not think, it would come to this, not really.
As time has progressed, I had almost lost hope, but a child’s bold yet humble prayer recently reminded me that God is not a liar, we can trust Him implicitly.
Despite all of my feelings, [particularly on the harder days, full of difficult subjects,] I have seen Gods hand at work, in me, and in those around me, and through each and every one of us.
I have seen miracles, I have seen provisions, I have learned hard lessons, and I find myself learning to ask the right questions, to the right person:
God.
I am thankful for this place & I am thankful for these people, but I really am believing that God will come will open a door for us, sooner than I dare hope. Despite the fact that I’m still here months longer than I expected to be.
Day after day. I sit at one of the two windows, worship music playing in my ears, bible close at hand, praying for the day in which the dream, the promise, becomes a reality.
Some days, finding the will to praise my way through the day has felt like a civil war.
Some days the anger & frustration threaten to be my undoing.
Every day I am thankful for all that I do have in this place, and what it means to have abundance, I also remind myself that God prepared me for this, for how hard it has been, and for the countless other things I cannot put into words, God knows I’ve tried.
In this place I do not wish to be at, I have come face to face with The Lord, in a different way from before, and I find that though I am ready to be anywhere but here, here is where God has brought me, here is where He has provided for me, kept me, taught me & set me free, so here I shall remain.
Here I have learned that two things can, in fact, be true at the same time, even if they seem to contradict each other:
• I do not wish to be here. I have already been here much longer than I dared imagine.
• I will stay where The Lord has brought me to, because I rather be in this place with Him than anywhere else in the world.
I have no idea what tomorrow holds, but I am learning what it means to God, not to me, to truly know, depend and trust The One who does:
Jesus.
“And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”
Matthew 6:30-34 NLT
https://bible.
Psalms 73 