In the light of day, a path among the trees is an invitation to a peaceful walk with The Lord.
I normally use it as a time to walk the dogs and worship Jesus. These walks have provided countless hours of uninterrupted conversations with God. Countless lessons on pain, forgiveness, healing, repentance, grace, understanding and so much more.
There was a time when I honestly had very conflicting feelings about these walks. I didn’t look forward to them, did not see them as a privilege, or look upon them with gratitude. I saw them as a chore, which I believed for far too long, was something to resent for taking up my time. They are not, but that’s a topic for another day.
Looking back, there are days where I wonder where I might be today, if I had made the most of these walks long before now, but I know I can’t live in the past, just learn from it. All I can do is go forth with more effort to make the most out of every day in which I am here, surrounded by nature and trails.
With that in mind, I’ve been purposely setting out every day that the weather allows, and sometimes when it doesn’t.
I have found that nothing is necessarily good or bad, just different.
I love exploring with the Jacks in the warmth of the sun, but there’s a different type of peace to be found in rain, almost a cleansing one.
Where I have found to struggle, was when The Lord invited me to walk and worship in the cover of darkness.
At 5 in the morning, when the sun is nowhere to be found, the moon is hidden by a cover of clouds and most of the street lights don’t work, those same peaceful paths, the ones that are incredibly full of The Lord’s presence as we walk together in the daytime, suddenly feel sinister.
God had not changed.
God was not missing from my life in that moment of darkness, it’s just that my trust is misplaced because I’m relying on the light of the sun and what my eyes can see to keep me safe, because we are constantly told that terrible things lurk in the cover of darkness, and they do.
The only thing I was trained on, as a child, was fear. Most of us are taught how to fear. Not the fear of The Lord, no. Fear of a world that cannot touch us, not unless God allows.
“For we live believing and not by seeing.” 2 Corinthians 5:7 NLT
It’s Biblical Scripture. I didn’t make it up, but neither do I fully understand it. I have so much to learn, and even more gratitude to The God who created all things, for taking the time to teach me all of these things.
In case you are wondering, no. I didn’t venture past the street corner and onto the path that morning, I let fear (or what many of you would call common sense) stop me from going past my comfort zone.
I’m not ashamed to say I turned around and hightailed it home. There was not a person or animal insight, not even the wind stirred. There was God, me and my Jacks, but every instinct in me was desperate to run for the safety of home, knowing full well it’s nothing more than an illusion.
I am safe in God’s hands no matter where my feet stand, but home I went nonetheless.
In the days since that dark Tuesday morning, I’ve spent a lot of time seeking His wisdom, and coming to the understanding that as all things are preparation for what is to come, whatever that looks like, so are these walks. God is using everything in my life right now, as a means to teach, heal and prepare.
I have been discovering the depths of ‘walking by faith’, but there are always deeper levels to things that we are sometimes not capable of comprehending at first glance.
For my entire life, I have relied on my sight, and my gifts, to navigate the many different walks of life.
In truth The Holy Spirit was saving me from myself, long before I knew He was but, even knowing that now, stepping out into the pitch dark road, trusting that God wouldn’t call me out there to hurt me but to grow me, that’s a different type of faith.
That’s a new level of “up a mountain and off a cliff with You, Jesus.”
I could not begin to tell you why it seems as though we are right back in this place, in the natural. I could not tell you why I had any type of expectation of what any of this would look like, when the day finally came. I guess it’s just human nature to try and fill in the blanks of the unknown parts of life.
What I can tell you is that I am as blind in the natural as I am in the spiritual, at this very moment.
I do not know why all of these things are happening, some things, some people, I thought were long put to rest but, shows how much I know, which is nothing. God knows all things.
I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know what to make of any of it or how to proceed, I really don’t, but I really don’t need to, I just need to keep my eyes on Jesus.
One day at a time, one moment at a time, with no plans of my own, no chains of expectations, nothing but the promise that You know all things.
We are here because You choose to allow it, Lord, and You will lead us every step of the way ahead.
As I look back, at all we have faced together, over the last 12 months, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that, You have never once left my side. The year has been difficult, the losses many, the pain more than I thought myself capable of bearing without losing my sanity, but You, Jesus.
I am thankful Father, for You have taught me to praise in the midst of my pain, to pray in the face of my fears.
The things that were meant to break me, brought me closer to You, and knowing You, has brought me to a new level of faith, dedication, commitment and yes, even trust in You, that allows me to find comfort and peace in not knowing what tomorrow holds, in not having all of the answers to all of the questions that try to plague my head.
In the natural, I may never venture out into the dark path but, in the spiritual, I will not let the fear and the pain hinder me from walking with You, Lord.
It is not lost on me, in the slightest, that one Saturday I received so much wisdom on faith, purpose, trust, relationships and parenting and on the following Saturday all of those lessons had been put to the test. Your timing, as always, is perfect and You gave me just enough to navigate ahead, but always needing to seek You further, for I am not meant to do things without You, and quite frankly, I long ago stopped wanting to.
I admit that at the time, I fell on my face in the most ungracious of ways, but by Your mercy and grace, I got up and recovered my senses and stepped out into the dark and winding road.
I have never felt more blind, never more cut off, but I know You have not left me. I see and feel you in very many different ways. I know that You are fighting my battles, and all I am required to do is praise You through it all, Lord.
You call it my victory, but I take credit for none of it.
Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
Be merciful and answer me!
My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”
Do not turn your back on me.
Do not reject your servant in anger.
You have always been my helper.
Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me,
O God of my salvation!
Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord will hold me close.
Teach me how to live, O Lord.
Lead me along the right path,
for my enemies are waiting for me.
Do not let me fall into their hands.
For they accuse me of things I’ve never done;
with every breath they threaten me with violence.
Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.
Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.
(Psalms 27:7-14 NLT)
The Lord is king! Let the earth rejoice!
Let the farthest coastlands be glad.
Dark clouds surround him.
Righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.
Fire spreads ahead of him and burns up all his foes.
His lightning flashes out across the world.
The earth sees and trembles.
The mountains melt like wax before the Lord,
before the Lord of all the earth.
The heavens proclaim his righteousness;
every nation sees his glory.
Those who worship idols are disgraced—
all who brag about their worthless gods—
for every god must bow to him.
Jerusalem has heard and rejoiced,
and all the towns of Judah are glad because of your justice, O Lord!
For you, O Lord, are supreme over all the earth;
you are exalted far above all gods.
You who love the Lord, hate evil!
He protects the lives of his godly people and
rescues them from the power of the wicked.
Light shines on the godly,
and joy on those whose hearts are right.
May all who are godly rejoice in the Lord
and praise his holy name!
(Psalms 97:1-12 NLT)
Psalms 73 