Joy

“What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord,
who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.
When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, 
it will become a place of refreshing springs.
The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings.
They will continue to grow stronger,
and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.”
Psalms 84:5-7 NLT

Every day, I gain a little more understanding of the relationship you offer, and what is expected of me, Lord.
Every day, I commit fully to living for you, to coming to you with all things. I chose to invite you into every aspect of my life, and extend the love and compassion that you have shown me, to others.
It is not something that comes naturally to me, but I no longer doubt what I can accomplish with you.

The words fail me.
It’s not a lack of words but an excess of them.
There is so much I want to say, so much I struggle to say and so much I should say but don’t really want to.
My life has been turned upside down.
I’ve been stripped down of every earthly belief.
My eyes have been opened.
There is a lot that I now understand so clearly, just as there are things I am still learning, and though I am a work in progress, already I’m not the same.

I understand there are seasons in life. Sunny seasons and stormy seasons. Each is unique in its way, no 2 people experience them the same. Each season comes with its own set of lessons.

I used to look at the hardships of life with resentment.
I felt entitled to only good things.
I don’t want pain. I don’t want to suffer.
Every day I’d complain, even when things were good, I’d find something to complain about. Nothing was enough. I have much to be grateful for but I chose to focus on what we didn’t have.

I had heard people say things like “You can have peace in the storm.” or “You have to learn to dance in the rain.” There have been a few “There is light at the end of the tunnel.” and “Joy comes in the morning.” too.
I can’t tell you how often I heard those words, but I can tell you I did not fully understand them. They are not just things people say, though we have turned them into that.

I thought I knew and understood you, God.
I didn’t.
I had heard about you, but I had not sought to get to know you for myself. Not really.
I don’t know when you became this powerless all-powerful being that humanity has made you out to be, but I have found that you are not that.

God, you are capable of anything, yesterday, today, and always.

You love, and you forgive, and you redeem.
I don’t know when I got lost in the lies, but I know that lost is not how you meant for us to live.
It’s been a long road here for me, not as hard as it could have been, granted, but more complex than it should have been because I wanted to be in control. I would get upset when things did not go the way I wanted them to go, and then I’d blame you for things going wrong when I never did include you in any of my planning.

It’s easy to see your hand, God, in the good things and be thankful when things are going well, but learning to see your hand at work in the darkness of the storm, thanking you for the good and the bad, for what I have and for what I don’t, that has been life-changing.

I changed my focus. I prioritize Jesus in my life, over all other things, especially during an uncomfortable season.
I took my eyes off the world and found not just redemption but peace, freedom, and a relationship that sees me through everything life has thrown at me.
I used to react to my circumstances, but now I let them drive me closer to you. I chose to run to you in every circumstance.
I am thankful for every “no” that led me here, Lord. I no longer stress about things I can do nothing about, I no longer think about tomorrow. I take every day as it comes, grateful for all that I have and that I used to take for granted. A lot of this does not come naturally to me, but you make it possible.
By seeking Jesus, I have gotten closer to you, who created me, and in the process, I have discovered that I can get through difficult days with peace and joy. The hard moments still come, I just learned to tackle them differently.
I now understand that you are not looking for me to keep busy in earthly pursuits, though a life of service comes as a byproduct of this relationship.

Every day I choose to go through life searching for the Father, following the Son and led by the Holy Spirit, always keeping them front and center in my heart and mind.
I have learned to have peace in the storm and see the beauty and need for it.
I have learned there is joy to be found in this world, though it is not of this world. I have learned about who God truly is.
I have learned the truth about love and how to show compassion to those who are also suffering.
These are not just words, they are actions I chose to take every day.
Every morning, I entrust my day to Him, and every evening I thank Him for seeing me through it.
I know there are no guarantees of earthly happiness. I know I will never live a problem-free life on this earth. I know that there are things that I don’t know, and I don’t need to know them, because God does.
I have learned to deny myself, pick up my cross and follow Jesus.
And looking back now, remembering where I was just a year ago, I would not have things any other way.

So thank you, Father, for all you have given and all you will give.

Thank You.

This is what the Lord says:
“Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom,
    or the powerful boast in their power,
    or the rich boast in their riches.
²⁴ But those who wish to boast
    should boast in this alone:
that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord
    who demonstrates unfailing love
    and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth,
and that I delight in these things.
    I, the Lord, have spoken!”
Jeremiah 9:23-24 NLT

“And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord,
you must continue to follow him.  
Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him.
Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught,
and you will overflow with thankfulness.
Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies
and high-sounding nonsense that comes from human thinking
and from the spiritual powers of this world,
rather than from Christ.  
For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. 
So you also are complete through your union with Christ,
who is the head over every ruler and authority.”
Colossians 2:6-10 NLT